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"Metallic Gear Sold 5 is game that premiered in theaters in 2016, written by His Day Old Coat Jim Mom. And like the developers, I didn't finish the game all the way. This game follows the chronicles of Large Manager after his mercenary army was blown up by the illuminati led by emo Jim Carrey's The Mask. Tasked only with revenge and rebuilding of his private army, The Chief of Considerable Size must struggle against southern supernatural in order to stop The Son of Mask from being made. But the biggest challenge of our Hefty Captain is waking up from a coma, a battle in which he struggles with for nine years... Until now."
-Max0r, An Incorrect Summary of Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain